Bridegroom – Tapping into true love, loss and lessons learned

Shane’s heartbreak is evident throughout this raw and compelling film, which has a clear message about the legal and emotional implications of marriage inequality. Audiences learn that Tom’s parents never accepted their son was gay and in a six-year relationship with Shane. They claimed his body, alienated Shane and then threatened him with violence if he dared attend the funeral in Knox, Indiana. Shane found himself devastated, ostracized, with no rights or survivor benefits.

It does not come across as a bitter attack on the Bridegroom family. To reiterate: the film highlights a love lost, it is a cautionary tale as well as campaign for same sex marriage.  The catalyst for the film was the unexpected response to a YouTube video posted by Shane to mark the one-year anniversary of Tom’s death entitled, “It Could Happen to You.” Shane’s ordeal resonated with viewers around the world. To date, the video has had 4 million views, prompting Thomason (whose mother died from AIDS) to expand the footage into a professional, independent documentary. An unprecedented $400,000 was raised in film funds via a Kickstarter campaign and endorsements from A-Listers such as Neil Patrick Harris and George Takei.

Thankfully, Shane, an avid documentarian and social media buff had plenty of footage, which gives the film its poignancy and well-organized structure. Tom and Shane both grew up in towns not known for their diversity. Their paths cross through a mutual friend when they made the move to Los Angeles. As their bond grew stronger, they discussed marriage, bought a house together, adopted a dog, developed an online PR business and traveled the world, managing to visit four of the Seven Wonders of the World. In a tear-jerking scene, we see Shane visiting the Taj Mahal alone the following Christmas.

Shane’s family in Kalispell, Montana and their friends comprise a wonderful cast with stand-out commentary from Shane’s strong mother and his quirky grandmother, who in support of her grandson’s relationship said “They’re Romeo and Romeo, get used to it”. Their mutual friend, who is hearing impaired, was especially moving as she was the subject of the doomed photo shoot, and is now living with a form of survivor’s guilt. The music in the film showcased some of Tom’s songs and collaborations, which helped alleviate our sadness while simultaneously honoring his unique talents.

Bridegroom has garnered awards at Tribeca, Outfest and has been selected by the entertainment industry nonprofit Creative Coalition as a 2013 Spotlight Initiative Film. North American Rights to the doc have been acquired by Virgil Films with DVD rollouts expected down the line. The film opens in New York on Friday October 4th.

Bitley Crone is an honorable activist and advocate for LGBT rights. He is passionate, courageous and articulate and has an ethereal presence just like his beloved earth day partner. Parents with gay children should watch and learn and more importantly those struggling with their homosexuality can gain strength, confidence, happiness and peace on their journey through life.

Review by Briege McGarrity